Treasure/Tuxedo

This is probably the last re-post of my fave stories. I'm going to put up the rest that I feel comfortable with as archives. Please keep in mind that my sisters currently read my blog if you choose to leave comments (thank you).

One of my sisters moved to Arizona two summers ago. Things did not work out for her exactly as she had planned, and she was scrambling with those last minute details. I got a call from her the day before she and her fiance were planning to drive across the country, asking me to take her cat, Treasure. Treasure is a sweet black girl kitty with white markings on her face, neck, belly and feet.

I told my sister, "of course". I’m an animal lover, I already have cats (who hate the dog). Taking in one more cat for my sister’s sake was not a big deal (as long as no one told the landlord). Treasure is one of the sweetest, shyest little skitty kitties in the world. I adore my sister, she took in my son when I was so f’d up that I didn’t know what I was doing. I probably owe her a million favors, not that she’d ever call me on them.

I figured Treasure would just hide out in the basement until she got comfortable. I put food and water down there for her, and I knew my kitties would never give her any trouble. As long as she hung out in the basement, the dog wouldn't give her any trouble, either.

My cats are indoor only cats, exclusively. I live on a very busy street, my cats are fixed, there is no need for them to go outside ( although they sometimes try). Anyway, I assumed Treasure was an indoor only cat, also – especially since she was such a scaredy-cat!

For the first couple of days, Treasure would meet me at the top of basement stairs, and let me pet her. I thought this was a milestone of her affection, considering she hardly ever even acknowledged my presence at my sister’s house. My niece told me that her friends thought she was making up the cat, because no one ever saw her!

A couple of days into Treasure staying with me, my landlord said he needed to change the filter on the furnace. I let him in through the hatchway. At the same time, I needed to take out some rugs that my sister had given to me and vacuum the hell out of them in the driveway. I never thought anything of it, until I realized the next day that Treasure had not greeted me at the top of the stairs that morning. Nor did she, the next day, or the next. I was Flipping Out! Turns out Treasure actually did go out from time to time when she was living at my sister’s house. No one ever saw her go out, but she was no longer in my basement…

For a few weeks after, my son kept telling me that he saw Treasure around the neighborhood, when he was taking the dog out for a walk. Obviously, he could not get close to the cat with the crazy dog on the leash in his hand. Every time he tried, the cat would run off, and he wouldn't see her again for days.

One evening, he came home telling me that Treasure was right up the road. We ditched the dog, and I drove over to the house, thinking my son could hold her in a towel while I drove, in case she was freaked out. We could not just walk her home that way (across the very busy street). I drove up very close to the yard where she was. I got out of the car, gently, so as not to spook her. I very sweetly crooned over and over, “Hi Treasure, baby, hi, do you remember your Aunty, I was so worried about you, sweet baby”, all the while very slowly creeping forward with my hand out in front of me, to pet her head, and her sweet nose, and ears.

The cat responded as I expected her to, cautiously, then warming up to me, until I could pick her up. I picked her up, and pet her, and kept crooning. She was still highly agitated, so I chose not to hand her off to my son, but to just put her in the car and drive the 5 houses up the road with her in the backseat. I figured we would just deal with it when we got there, rather than my son getting scratched.

As I was basically throwing the cat into my car, this lady came running out of the house I was parked in front of, yelling, “Tuxedo, Tuxedo!”. I was so incredulous at the time; it seemed to me that she was running in slow motion, “Tuuuuxeeeedoooo, Tuuuxeeedoooo”. My mind could not grasp what was going on.

It turns out that I was stealing her extremely friendly cat, who was lounging in her front yard and was willing to get in my car with me. Whatever – don’t judge me ;). I really thought I was doing the right thing, at the time. I grilled this woman about when she had gotten the cat, was she sure it was Tuxedo and not Treasure, etc. It was more than a little embarrassing, especially when I found out Tuxedo was a boy. You just can't fake that part. I’m pretty sure my son did not want to be seen around the neighborhood for a while after that.

We never saw Treasure, again - :(

And now, courtesy of the our family home of really bad jokes:

“What if she had called the cops on you? Do you think you could have gotten arrested for stealing pussy?”

ba-dum-ching