Monday, July 27, 2009

C'mon a my house, my house...

Mr. Condescending put out an interesting meme of sorts recently, and he was kind enough to ask me to play along. As usual, I'm extremely late to the game, but at least I showed. It's called:

Here are his suggestions:

I would like to know a few very important things about you, along with some photographic evidence preferably. If you were going to allow us to spend a night at YOUR home, I would like to know the following:
  1. What books are on your favorite shelf?
  2. What DVD's are on your favorite shelf?
  3. What are your TWO favorite cookbooks.
  4. Select 1-3 recipes you will cook for your special guest.
  5. What will we be drinking that is available?
My bookshelf is a study in disorganization. But it is full of things I have loved enough to save. You might notice I never give away my Stephen King books. You might also notice that I never dust it because it is usually full of framed pictures, and that I was still too lazy after taking off said pictures to bother dusting it before I took the picture. I'm just keeping it real.

The DVD's are the only ones I've cared enough to own, I guess. I have a million other VHS tapes that I never watch. I usually just rent, unless I find something dirt cheap that I feel I'm going to need to watch again. I pretty much watch nothing over and over again enough to actually buy it. I'm usually too busy on my computer to watch movies or television.

My two favorite cook books are as follows. The Joy of Cooking was my first cookbook, a gift from my father while I was still in my teens. I still consult it every time I need a basic recipe. This book changed my life. Every recipe is idiot proof, and it gave me the confidence I needed to try new things.

My second favorite cookbook was a gift from my son many Mother's Days ago. It was basically an empty binder to put my favorite recipes into as I found them. I'm constantly updating it, and always keep the card he made me to go with it in the front pocket.

Our dinner menu will probably depend upon the time of year I invite you over. Here are two alternate dinners. Both will start with this recipe for Orange garlic shrimp by Pastor Ryan on Pioneer Woman's cooking site. This stuff will knock your socks off! I could eat it every night and never get sick of it. Try it for yourself sometime, it's easy and delicious.

If it's summer, I will probably serve you a chicken breast with a lemon cilantro pesto under the skin, grilled to perfection and a heaping serving of chunky avocado salsa on the side. You might even get lucky enough to have this grilled zucchini and red onion pasta salad that I made the other night. I threw in some spinach and shrimp to make it a meal, it was sooo good.

If it's winter, you're probably going to get an herb crusted prime rib meal, complete with au jus, sauteed baby bella mushrooms, fresh mashed potatoes, and my special mashed baby carrots. This particular picture was taken at Christmas last year.

Summer or winter, spring or fall - if I'm going to serve a special dinner, it's going to be on my Haviland Springtime china.

I adore this dish set in ways that no one should love inanimate objects. Here is the story behind it. My mother had an extremely successful antique and collectibles shop around the same time I got engaged, many, many years ago. An older couple was downsizing and asked my mother to try to sell their over 50 year old dish set in her shop. I fell in love with it, and asked my mother to buy it for me at her discount as my wedding present. She bought it, paid for it, and then I broke off the engagement. She flat out told me I would need to get married or she would have to die before I got that china set. I just needed to wait her out, because when she moved to Florida 7 years ago, she gave it me rather than having to move something else. It's an almost perfect set for 12, and I look for reasons to break it out.

Last but not least, what would I serve you to drink? I think wine could be the perfect accompianment to almost any meal, but I'm not really a wine drinker any longer. Therefore, I have no idea what is good and what isn't. Back in the day, I was fond of something called Col Di Sasso, which I now realize isn't very good. But it tasted fine to my uneducated palate.

So, I'm pretty sure my standing BYOB pertains here, also. I also have generic ginger ale, and ice cold water, if you're interested. Iced coffee? Diet soda? Anyone? Bueller, Bueller?

Saturday, July 25, 2009

My version of poetry

We decided to spend the late morning going to tag sales. This is my mother's passion, and I enjoy it once in a while as well. We finally had a beautiful summer day, and I enjoyed just driving through the country side looking for the signs on the side of the road.

Somehow we ended up way out in the boonies. I'm talking old school New England colonial backwoods, with horses and stone walls. That is where we found an estate sale on a property that was incredible. The adult children were helping their parents clear out the many buildings as the property had already been sold. I can only guesstimate that it went in the millions.

My mother walked around finding things to buy, while I walked the property taking pictures. Afterward, I tried explaining the pictures I had taken to my mother. I told her how I had seen things that I HAD to take pictures of, in between the green of the leaves and the trees and the stone walls and the dappled sunlight.

My mother was trying hard to understand me, I was so grateful. She told me that the words I used to describe what I was taking pictures of sounded like poetry. "Momma", I said, "they looked like poetry to me". I had no other way to explain what I was trying to do. She understood that a picture is worth a thousand words.

We had a moment there, and it was almost as beautiful to me as the pictures in my mind. I don't know if the pictures in real life capture it, but here they are.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Happy first blogiversary!

I can't believe tomorrow will be a year since I started this blog. I can't believe how much this blog has changed me, for the better. I can't believe all of the wonderful people I have met. I'm so lucky! I love you guys!

Check this out, my first post.

Image borrowed from Fancy Schmancy Cakes.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Dear Lady Gaga

Taking a page from the book of Cora, at Love Letters by Cora, I'm penning a letter to Lady Gaga.

Dear Lady Gaga,

I understand your profound urge to be unique and original.

I empathize with your insatiable need for attention.

But don't you think this crosses some invisible line. By like a mile?


What the fuck were you thinking?

Friday, July 17, 2009

Reflection and instrospection

My brain has been on overdrive this week for reasons unknown. However, I have some ideas.

1. I think I'm trying to relive my life through my child.

If you are keeping score at home, you may have noticed that was only one idea. Yay for you! You win a prize! I'll tell you how to claim it later!

In the meantime, please try to focus on me and my almost mid-life crisis.

I guess I am having a hard time because I want so much for the boy. I want his life to be different than mine was when I was his age, or any age for that matter. I didn't even realize I was trying too hard. I was being myself, which, like I've said is cool one minute and embarrassing the next.

The fact that this normal teenage trait even bothered me showed me that something was wrong, with ME. Because, really, if you're embarrassing your teenager - you're doing something right. Am I right?

There is an extremely thin line between being the cool mom, and being one of his friends. I would like more than anything to be both, but I rationally know that's neither healthy nor practical. It's not that I'm having difficulty setting down rules and guidelines (I'm not that cool). It's more that I'm inserting myself too much into his personal space, and he's starting to resent it. Stupid Facebook. Considering that one of my major issues with my mother is her lack of boundaries, you would think I would know better.

But, goodness, the separation stings... I will always want him to be my baby. He's not having growing pains, I am. I distinctly remember someone talking about their teenagers, and thinking, "my boy will always want to cuddle on the couch with me, these people don't know what they're talking about."

Do you know what I would give to have my boy cuddle on the couch with me right now?

This song makes me cry, every time.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Twofer almost Thursday, or Twofer after Tuesday - WHATEVER!

I've been tagged with 2 awards, one with a meme.

Jocelyn at Physical Possum tagged me for an Honest Scrap award, and Silver at Tantalizing Treats tagged me with a Bella Sinclair award! I'm so honored by these two lovely ladies!

The Bella Sinclair award states by it's creator, Ces:

“I designed this award to celebrate art in the blogs and to honor the value of friendship, sisterhood, sharing and caring. It is to be awarded to the gifted, accomplished, eloquent and talented blogger whose friendship and influence inspire us to do our best. That I named it after Bella Sinclair is because she epitomizes all of these things. She is an inspiration to many of us”.

“I hope that when Bella returns, this award would have already circulated in the blogs. It is my honor to give this award to the first recipients who I hope will find the same pleasure as I have in spreading its crown, giving shade and the comfort of friendship and caring and of sisterhood by sharing this award with their blog-friends and sisters!”

By the way, Silver, thanks for introducing me to Ces's blog, I can't wait to dig in and read more!

The Honest Scrap rules are as follows:

  1. “The Honest Scrap” award is not one to hold all to your self but it must be shared!
  2. First, the recipient has to tell 10 true things about themselves in their blog that no one else knows.
  3. Second, the recipient has to pass along this prestigious award to 10 more bloggers.
  4. Third, those 10 bloggers all have to be notified they have been given with this award.
  5. Those 10 bloggers that receive this award should link back to the blog that awarded them “The Honest Scrap’ award.

Are there really 10 things you guys don't already know about me that I actually want to share? This might be a tough one.

1. I have always loved animals. I wanted to be a wildlife rehabilitator when I was in high school, but then I realized wild animals are fucking scary.

2. If I won the lottery, I would probably go back to school for a veterinarian degree.

3. I honestly don't think I'm smart enough to get a veterinarian degree.

4. Scratch 2 & 3. If I won the lottery, I would probably go back to school for photography.

5. If I'm running late, I won't shower that day. I take the old French Whore's Bath. All day long I feel disgusting. Which does not stop me from doing it again the next time I can't drag my lazy ass out of bed.

6. I dropped out of high school, and got a full-time job making tie-dyed tee-shirts. I had fucked around my senior year doing things like early morning Kamikaze shots. Then I got really sick and had to have my tonsils out. I lost credit and realized I wasn't going to graduate with my class, so I got a full time job doing something I loved instead.

7. I went to business school after my full time job 5 days a week, and earned a "Word Processing" certificate before I received my GED in the mail.

8. I firmly believe that if roughly 25% of my graduating class had to take their GED, they would not have received their diploma. That shit was hard!

9. I had a pet python for about 7 years before he died, I got him when he was a baby, 6 weeks old and I was 17. I still feel guilty about his death, because I hadn't educated myself enough in advance in the proper care and handling of pythons, and he probably should have lived much longer. I will never forget the day my mother found out I had had a snake in her house for 3 weeks without her knowing! "Get you and your fucking snake out of my house!" Ha-ha, she was so pissed. And then she ended up being the one to name him. She grew to love him, or at least tolerate him. Whatever, I moved out soon after.

10. If I could make money making tie-dyed shirts, or at photography, or working with animals, I would quit my job in a heartbeat.

Bonus 11 - Lucky you! I worry way too much about what my son thinks of me. One minute I'm the cool mom, and the next minute I'm soooo embarrassing. What I really worry about is that he is going to feel about me the way I feel about my mom. He's my only child. What if he and his future wife hate me and move far away from me? I know I worry too much in advance about things. While I'm enjoying a week to myself right now, I wonder what the hell I'm going to do in 3 years when he goes off to college. I'm absolutely certain that the fact that my mother is coming in less than a week to stay for a month has nothing whatsoever to do with this weighing heavily upon my mind!

There you have it! Now for the tags.

I've started following a lot of new blogs, lately, so I'd like to hear from them. If you're not into doing memes or accepting awards, it's all good. There are no obligations, no strings, no worries. But please know that that I bloggy love you enough to tag you, in alphabetical order!

Char, at Char's Today

My sissy, Chaos at It's all the same fuckin' day, man. Kouf, come out and play?

Proud Dogmom of Lola, at Life, Love and Lola

Judi, at Lines Composed

Andrea, at My Life's Second Half

Shana, at Shana's Place

Ebony, at Sizzling Publications

Naomi, at Surviving Single Motherhood

Raine, at True Confessions of a Single Mother

SRG, at Two Black Cats

That should do it! If you choose to accept this assignment, both awards, I look forward to your posts! I'm already following all of your blogs, so I'm hoping I might have stuff to read from you all soon! If I was cool enough to be southern, I'd call you all, y'all. But I'm not southern. Or cool.

According to my son, my cool levels plummeted in the last couple of days. Crap, I don't even know why! I must have embarrassed him somehow, by like being alive and/or breathing. Or something.

Wordless Wednesday, purple rain

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Fancy Pictures - 365

The Vegetable Assassin left me a comment saying she had started a 365 project and asked me to join along. A 365 project, if you're not familiar with it, means taking and posting 365 pictures in 365 days. Should be a no-brainer for me, unless I'm out of town as I don't have a laptop. I'm making the commitment to try to be as dedicated to it as I can within reason. If you'd like to check it out, clicky here.

Totally awkward Tuesday

Hosted by Tova Darling, go check it out!

I was driving home from the amusement park on Saturday and we were listening to an alternative station on the radio. The boys are all musically inclined, and have eclectic tastes in music, so we have similar likes. When Insane in the Membrane came on, I cranked it. And then I realized I wasn't alone in the car, and I had no idea how they felt about being subjected to Cypress Hill at full volume.

As I was turning it back down, I said, "Sorry guys, that was really loud". One of my son's friends from the back seat pipes up with "It wasn't too loud, you're too old". I thought that was funny as hell, but the poor kid started furiously back-peddling. "Mrs. S, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. My uncle says it all the time - if it's too loud you're too old. But I didn't mean YOU were old...". I was still laughing my ass off, and wasn't about to cut him any slack. "It's too late, kid; you can't fix it". Good thing a half hour earlier he had already told me I was the coolest mom ever or he might have been walking home.

No comments

Hey, Raine, your new blog layout looks great! But nobody can comment on it, and no one knows how to get a hold of you to tell you! Hope you read this!

Monday, July 13, 2009

What bugs me

I have a confession to make. I am obsessed with taking pictures. I know! Big shocker!

I love not only taking the picture, but playing with them after. I will literally take a picture of anyone or anything at any time as long as I have my camera handy. If I find a subject that is willing to have their picture taken, I just don't stop. Anyone who is friends with me on Facebook can attest that I've uploaded at least 100 pictures within the last week of just family and friends. I didn't even upload the pictures I took of my little nieces at the beach. Their mom is not cool with that, so I respect her wishes.

This is the time of year I go wild for taking pictures of flowers and bugs, also. Tonight was my first opportunity to start playing with some of those pictures, so prepare for an avalanche of them in the next week. Mother Nature is such a generous spirit.

These pictures are just a fluke that I happened to be there, and I'm so excited by them. I was at my cousin's house last Friday, and apparently there is a wasps' nest under one of their kitchen windows. I didn't even know that wasps kill and transport other bugs back to their nests for food. I usually don't like the kind of bugs that can sting me, I have a little bit of an allergic reaction to them. However, this guy was already busy with his own problems and obviously had no intention of bothering me.

I took pictures of the wasp and his grasshopper meal for a good 10 minutes before he got them both into the particular panel of siding he was trying for. I was absolutely fascinated with how many times the wasp hit that opening, trying to go in. Then he would stop and take a break, and try again. The grasshopper had to weigh twice as much as the wasp did, and that wasp kept trying every different angle he could for a long time until he got in. In insect time, it must have been like 7 dog years. Goddamn, he kept taking breaks, readjusting his load, and trying again, I was actually rooting for the stupid wasp after a while.

Perseverance won the day, and we didn't see the wasp again for the rest of the evening. However, don't think I won't post a picture of a spider catching this particular wasp in her web if I have the chance. It's all about Mother Nature, and my photo opportunities!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Never a dull moment

I swear to god, I haven't had a free moment in like 9 days. Okay, sorry god, I may have been exaggerating a little bit, but not by much. Have you ever wondered whether god cares if her/his name is capitalized when you're using it? Everyone knows you should capitalize it when you're taking her/his name in vain, but what about every day use? When I say "I swear to god" is that technically taking her/his name in vain? Do you think she/he gets upset when people type omg instead of OMG!?

Moving on. I've been having a really great time IRL, and I have been ignoring my cyber-friends as a result. I apologize for that, because you all are my world during the 99% of the time that I have nothing going on IRL. I haven't been commenting on your blogs, but I have been reading when possible. When possible meaning only at work last week when I was there, which wasn't very often.

The reason I could only access the interwebs at work was because SOMEBODY chewed through the network cable that links my computer in my bedroom to the modem in my son's bedroom. SOMEBODY couldn't get into her boy's room after I left for work on Monday morning and apparently had a hissy fit.

Who, me?

Fucking ridiculously cute bitch. It is a good thing she is so fucking cute, or I'd probably be pretty upset about the whole thing!

I took this call at work last Monday, "Um, mom? Yer, yer, you're not going to like this, but, um, the cable to your internet is completely severed...". Smart boy called me at work where I couldn't have a complete meltdown. I was limited on cash and time, so I went to Radio Shack and bought an incredibly expensive 25' network cable before I went home. Dammit! I needed a 50' cord! No time, no money!

Tuesday we had birthday dinner for both my son and my great-niece who were born on the same day. Wednesday was their actual birthday, and we all went to the beach together. Friday we hung out at one of my cousin's house to spend time with her sister and niece from out of town. I finally got my internet back up and running Friday night, but still had no time.

When my son got back from one of his friend's pool party, he brought 3 friends with him, and one more just showed up the next day. Saturday morning we all went to my company picnic at a local amusement park and had a fantastic day! I mean, awesome. I'm so lucky they let me hang out with them, I had a great time!

Saturday night, two of my son's friends went home, and one more came over. Have you ever smelled a gaggle of teenage boys? Helloooooo, soap and water do a much better job than AXE body spray! By the time the Febreeze cleared around 2:30 this afternoon, I had my house completely to myself. For the first time in I cannot tell you how long. My son is in New Hampshire for the next week, and I'm going to party like it's 1999.

Partying while cranking the Grateful Dead off youtube on my antiquated computer speakers while I put my laundry away, singing at the top of my lungs. I'm going to party so hard, I might have to take a nap in between the loads of laundry that need to be folded. I'm so badass, I'm going to see the new Harry Potter movie with my sister this week while my son is gone! That's right, Harry Potter. You can only wish you were as cool as I am...

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Stars and Stripes, Forever!

I saw this at Cake Wrecks, and had to go to YouTube and find it and share it with you all. That's just the way I roll, it's all about the giving, and the taking, and the sharing. This is just awesome. Happy Independence Day, America! Woot!

A change in plans

I just had the most wonderful day, and none of it went the way I had originally expected.

I got to spend it with family, and we had a great time even though thunderstorms canceled out swimming, the party my son was supposed to go to, having an outdoor picnic, and the town fireworks.

The highlight of my day may have been this little angel sleeping in my arms for a half an hour. Pure joy.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Actions speak louder than words

Remember my landlord, Douchey McDoucherson and the parking situation? I have never said a word to him in 3-1/2 years about it. But my nieces and sister are pretty vocal when they come over and can't find a place to park in our huge driveway, so maybe he overheard them.

I was out weeding my garden last Friday when Douchey came out to tell me that he had placed a big red bulls-eye on the concrete planter at the edge of my garden next to the trellis. He said he put it there so his son would have somewhere to aim when parking his car. He thought his son was parking too close to my car, which I didn't think was the problem but I kept my mouth shut. Remember that he came to me about this.

Douchey explained that with my car on the far right, and his son's car on the far left, his wife could still park next to the son's car and there would be enough room for "that girl" when she comes over. "That girl" being either of my adult nieces. Both come over EVERY Tuesday and assorted other times. (Totally off subject - he still calls my son Jeremy, which has not even once been his name in the 3-1/2 years that we've lived here.)

There is also plenty of room in front of the garage where Douchey keeps his new car, but no one dares park there for some dark unspoken reason. I'm guessing it's mostly because he's a douchebag.

Since last Friday, every time Mrs. McDoucherson has parked her minivan she has pulled head in - in the middle of the space between the son's car and mine - diagonally. Only the tiniest of cars could possibly fit on either side of her. I don't know if it's passive-aggressive, malicious or just stupid. One of my nieces thinks it's malicious. The other thinks Douchey told her how he wanted her to park and this is her way of rebelling against him, or maybe even against me. She always seems nice enough when we talk, which really isn't that often.

Tuesday night, one of my nieces sardined her car between the minivan and my car. I thought for sure she was going to have her daughters hit the minivan with their doors on purpose, but thankfully that wasn't the case. The other niece just parked on the street. While outside, one of the little nieces asked why and my older niece yelled at the top of her lungs, "cause there isn't any room to park in the driveway!".

Last night while in the kitchen making dinner, I saw the minivan pull in - driven by Douchey. I thought to myself, "Oh goody! He's backing it in - he's going to show his wife how it should be done!"

Say it with me now, "What a fucking douchebag..."