My brain has been on overdrive this week for reasons unknown. However, I have some ideas.
1. I think I'm trying to relive my life through my child.
If you are keeping score at home, you may have noticed that was only one idea. Yay for you! You win a prize! I'll tell you how to claim it later!
In the meantime, please try to focus on me and my almost mid-life crisis.
I guess I am having a hard time because I want so much for the boy. I want his life to be different than mine was when I was his age, or any age for that matter. I didn't even realize I was trying too hard. I was being myself, which, like I've said is cool one minute and embarrassing the next.
The fact that this normal teenage trait even bothered me showed me that something was wrong, with ME. Because, really, if you're embarrassing your teenager - you're doing something right. Am I right?
There is an extremely thin line between being the cool mom, and being one of his friends. I would like more than anything to be both, but I rationally know that's neither healthy nor practical. It's not that I'm having difficulty setting down rules and guidelines (I'm not that cool). It's more that I'm inserting myself too much into his personal space, and he's starting to resent it. Stupid Facebook. Considering that one of my major issues with my mother is her lack of boundaries, you would think I would know better.
But, goodness, the separation stings... I will always want him to be my baby. He's not having growing pains, I am. I distinctly remember someone talking about their teenagers, and thinking, "my boy will always want to cuddle on the couch with me, these people don't know what they're talking about."
Do you know what I would give to have my boy cuddle on the couch with me right now?
This song makes me cry, every time.
19 hours ago