I was flipping through a magazine at work today when I came across this hideous monstrosity. They label it "a delightful achievement in miniature art!" and are actually trying to sell it to people for real money. I personally think it's one of the ugliest fucking things I've ever seen. It's not even so ugly that it's cute, it's just ugly. As in U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly (what-what?), you ugly.
You judge for yourself. I present to you Monkey Cuddles from the Just a Little Monkey Business miniature monkey figure collection:
Need a close-up?
But wait, there's more, and they are even fucking uglier if that is possible.
Note that "This figure is not a toy. It is a fine collectible to be enjoyed by adult collectors.". I'm going to let the fine collectible part slide and go right to the part about the adult collectors. That is because they will scare the crap out of your children and quite possibly scar them for life! "You'd better behave little Suzie, or mommy will send Monkey Nibbles in to your room after you fall asleep! He may look innocent, but he'll rip off your face just like Travis the Chimp!"
If I haven't dissuaded you and you still have to have it (Gwen and WhiskeyMarie, I'm looking straight at both of you. Well, maybe one eye on each of you.), they can be yours for just $19.99. Each. Be sure to order now because The Ashton-Drake Galleries assures me that they are available for a limited time only and demand is expected to be great. Unfortunately, the magazine I ripped this page out of is from last September. I'm certain they're all gone by now. Or not.
16 hours ago