Friday, June 12, 2009

hahaha ur crazy

Warning, shocking news ahead:

Carrie Prejean, now the former Miss California, is a silly little twat.

I just read this on Jezebel, which I found through Gawker. I'm not stealing it, I'm borrowing it for the common good and amusement of my fellow bloggers. I have absolutely nothing to add, it speaks hysterically for itself!

Fox News has apparently obtained a transcript of e-mails suggesting that Carrie Prejean lost her Miss California USA crown for making unauthorized public appearances and generally being incredibly difficult. We translate the exchange from Prejean into English.

A note on the text: Keith Lewis is a Miss California USA pageant director. cprejeanXXXX here denotes Carrie Prejean.

From: "Keith Lewis"Date: Fri, 29 May 2009 07:19:18 -0700To: Carrie PrejeanSubject: FW: Messages

Carrie,

The Style Network has asked to schedule a general meeting. Generals in the entertainment field are an opportunity for casting and producing executives to gain a better understanding of a potential talents range and demeanor in order to consider them for future projects. They are done without a specific agenda. I have had great success with my actors who have taken generals and would suggest you give it strong consideration. You never know where it may lead and sometimes they develop entire shows around you. The following days are available to meet with them here in LA. Please let me know as soon as possible if any of them work for you.

Best regards,

Keith Lewis

Translation: For some reason we think that the ratio between how interesting you are and how much media attention you have received is not ridiculously unbalanced enough. To remedy this, we want people to develop entire shows around you.

From: cprejeanXXXXSent: Friday, May 29, 2009 7:38 AMTo: Keith LewisSubject: Re: Messages

What is this for?

Translation: I did not read your e-mail.

From: "Keith Lewis"Date: Fri, 29 May 2009 07:43:45 -0700To: Subject: RE: Messages

Carrie,

It is for a general meeting – please see the explanation below.

Best regards,

Keith Lewis

Translation: Read my e-mail.

From: cprejeanXXXXSent: Friday, May 29, 2009 7:42 AMTo: Keith LewisSubject: Re: Messages

Just as you need details for things so do I. Also nice move trying to make money off of my appearances Also.. Do not try and silence me by saying I do not have a comment about the prop 8 ruling. Maybe you don't. I do

Translation: I mistakenly assume that the world needs to hear my opinions on controversial issues. Also, I still did not read your e-mail.

From: "Keith Lewis"Date: Fri, 29 May 2009 07:49:07 -0700To: Subject: RE: Messages

Carrie,

I have given you the details completely. Perhaps it is not something you would like to partake in, either way, you can let me know and I will respond to them today.

Best regards,

Keith Lewis

Translation: Read my e-mail.

From: cprejeanXXXXSent: Friday, May 29, 2009 7:40 AMTo: Keith LewisSubject: Re: Messages

I expect you to be forwarding me ALL email requests and interview requests to me. I know how you are and its not right if you are selecting things for me. Thanks for your cooperation And fyi I am a presenter of medals at the special olympics in a few weeks for the summer games. So now u know I am doing this and I expect your full support. Also I was asked to fill in for a dj on a local radio show.. Ill be reading from a show biz script monday. I am doing this

Translation: As my self-absorption increases, my spelling and punctuation decline. Also, I am going to be in "show biz."

From: "Keith Lewis"Date: Fri, 29 May 2009 08:01:35 -0700To: Subject: RE: Messages

Carrie,

As we have discussed, there is proper protocol and we have not waived our rights in any way to your contract. I am happy to try and facilitate the request. Please forward over the information along with the proper contact and we will try and confirm the appearance right away.

Best regards,

Keith Lewis

Translation: It is an enormous strain to continue being polite to you, but I am contractually obligated to keep trying.

From: cprejeanXXXXSent: Friday, May 29, 2009 7:57 AMTo: Keith LewisSubject: Re: Messages

You do not cooperate with me, and you pick and chose the the things YOU want me to do. That is not happening anymore. Stop speaking for me. I have MY own voice. What are u gonna do fire me for volunteering for the special olympics hahaha ur crazy No I am doing this appearance. You do not need details. Its for the SPECIAL OLYMPICS!!! You just need to know I will be doing it alright

You will not facilitate this appearance

Translation: I see no contradiction between my total rudeness to you and my implication that appearing at the Special Olympics makes me a good person. Also, you're not the boss of me. hahaha

Event planners the world over are presumably psyched that Prejean is now released from her contract, and free to bring her charm and politeness to other engagements.

9 comments:

Some Guy said...

She got her 15 minutes, plus a little extra. Hopefully now she will fade into oblivion like she's supposed to.

Cora said...

Pffft! Annoying little fuckwit, isn't she?

kate said...

Did I miss something (like a last installment) or are you avoiding the Dear Jon stories now that you've gotten us hooked?

jadedj said...

fancy, have you considered a job in the U.N. as a translator? Good job!

Fancy Schmancy said...

Some Guy - I'm thinking that the "plus a little extra" means she now owes us for every second she goes over her 15 minutes.

Cora - I totally agree. And you know I love it when you talk dirty.

Kate - persistent, aren't you? Yes, I've been avoiding it like the plague, also known as the H1N1 pandemic. I'll try to work on it this weekend.

jadedj - I'm flattered, but everything in italics came from Jezebel. I cannot even begin to take credit for that, only my copying and pasting skills.

jadedj said...

Have you considered getting a job at the U.N. as a copy and paster?

BeckEye said...

I still don't really know who this woman is. Someone who doesn't like gays and can't spell or use proper grammar isn't someone I want to know.

Paige said...

she is SUCH a tool. It hurts my head

Dominica said...

One word ; AIRHEAD (and I'm sorry to say but most of those Miss Whatever are brainless...) Here too it's a common fact that Miss Belgium or Miss Belgian Beauty always make bad choices !
For instance, almost every one of those fakes have criminal husbands ; the real stuff or the white colar criminal kind.
The bad thing is, their 15 minutes of fame lasts 15 years down here !!!