Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Grandma, 02/26/1909-10/21/2008


My grandmother died today. She was 99, almost four months exactly to the day before turning 100.

She would be the first person to tell you that she had outlived herself, she was ready to go five years ago. I would like to believe that it was because she was such a stubborn old bird that she made it as long as she did.

I would like to tell you that she and I had a good relationship, or a relationship at all, but we didn't. I would like to tell you that I am broken up about this, but other than being sad, I'm okay. We have known for weeks, if not months, that this was coming.

She was failing, and the best qualified, most appropriate people were there taking care of her. She was not in any pain, or suffering. She and her only daughter, my Aunt Cynth, had made arrangements years ago not to resuscitate or prolong her life in any unnatural way. She was made very comfortable in her own apartment in an assisted living facility. When she could no longer eat or drink on her own, Hospice came in and made her comfortable.

She died at peace, with her dignity intact. That would have meant a lot to her. She was an incredibly dignified lady. That is how I choose to remember her.

I hope you find peace, Grandma.


12 comments:

kate said...

That's a beautiful and eloquent post about your grandma. I love the photo; it would have been fun to know our grandmas back then, wouldn't it?

Fancy Schmancy said...

Thanks, Kate for getting what I was trying to put out there. Even though we weren't close, I respected her. Every one deserves to die with dignity, and I hope she did.

Dr Zibbs said...

Fancy - sorry to hear about this. I was just watching Nova and it was about a son that never knew his dad. His dad was a scientist that came up with the theory of parallel universes. Bottom line is that it got me thinking about my own legacy and mortality. I hope you had a good relationship with her.

Fancy Schmancy said...

zibbs, why don't you ever post about these deep and personal topics? take a break from being funny and show us the real man behind the pig mask.

JoJo said...

Really lovely tribute to your grandma, Fancy. I take it she was your paternal grandmother?

Fancy Schmancy said...

jojo, yes, my father's mother. Both my mother's parents died before I was born, so I never really got a chance to feel that special "grandmother's love" thing because my living grandmother was just not that way.

Aunt Becky said...

May she rest in peace.

MelO said...

Aww, I am sorry for your loss, but you sound like you're in a really good place about it. I'm glad she could die comfortably and at peace.

Beautiful tribute!

Imez said...

Maybe sometime you'll want to talk more about her, about why you didn't have a relationship.

After your installments about your ex with the brain tumor, I'll admit to eagerly anticipating all your stories about people in your life.

I'm sorry for your loss, however deep.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Becky, Melo, Imez, thanks for the thoughts.

Imez, thanks for the idea, and the compliment! You made my morning.

Falwless said...

Wonderful post. May she rest in peace. Sounds like a beautiful lady.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Thanks, Falwy. Nice to see you, again. I've missed you.