My son and a group of his friends went trick-or-treating together last night in an affluent section of town where one of them lives. I was pretty amused that both he and that boy wore Hillary Clinton masks, bought separately and unaware of each other. And no, he wouldn't let me take his picture, the little stinker.
My son brought his athletic bag to hold his candy, and came home with it filled. The thing must weigh 10 pounds! I checked it out this morning, it was unbelievable. I've never seen such an assortment, nor have I ever seen so many full sized candy bars. The boy will never want to go trick-or-treating in the ghetto, again; although this should be his last year of trick-or-treating, anyway.
We were talking earlier today about what a good time he had. They covered about 3 miles of territory to get all that candy. Then he told me that some people had left a bowl of candy on the front porch, honor system style with a sign asking to please just take one.
"And did you all just take one?"
"Hell no, mom."
"But, J, that's cheating!"
I look at him, still in his pajamas - a WTFWJD shirt and Family Guy Stewie flannel pants. His eyes are puffy from sleep, and he looks like a big, huge version of my little boy. When I hug him, my head doesn't even come up to his shoulder. But that doesn't mean he's too big for me to try steer him in the right direction.
"J, what you did was wrong. What would Jesus do in that situation? I mean, really, look at the shirt you're wearing. What the fuck would Jesus do?"
"If he was in a group with his friends, he would probably have done what we did. Run to get as much candy as you can before anyone else got there."
"No, J. Jesus would have taken just one...
And then he would have performed a miracle so it would be enough to feed the whole crowd." As I was saying this, I was also using jazz hands.
He had to turn and leave the room.
1 day ago
10 comments:
Hello, hope you don't mind me popping in unannounced. I saw your comment over at Vodka Mom.
We didn't encounter any honor system candy last night.
But did encounter two houses giving out margaritas to us big people. My kind of neighborhood!
Too funny!
My college roommate told me her mom used to go trick-or-treating with her and would bring along her shot glass, asking each house to fill it for her.. Enough folks complied to let her mom get blottoed by the end of each Halloween night.
Pre-sobriety it was a very big drinking holiday in our neighborhood as well; of course back then, everyday was some type of holiday. My son, also too big to be trick-or-treating, was kind enough to always leave one piece of candy in the bottom of the "courtesy" bowls. His candy-filled pillowcase weighed 17 lbs. Sweet justice prevailed and he received a couple of Asian wrapped dried plums, fortune cookies and a rice cake!
that is awesome, where can i get a shirt like that?
You can get your own politically incorrect shirt at:
http://www.goingjesus.com/
Ah, kids. They crack me up with their logic.
I love "jazz hands" too! Great for getting your point across.
Where are these neighborhoods that are passing out the sauce??? I'm not familiar with that practice. I don't think we do that here in the South but I could certainly get on board with it.
WOW...that is an awesome shirt...
"Jazz Hands" you are too f-ing funny Fantz. I'm starting to catch up. Hey why didn't I get offered a kit-kat or something the other day?! Dude!
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