Laura at Under The Sheets-Shhh is having a VD contest. Check it out, here. She suggested we comment about our best or worst Valentine's day, but I decided to make my own post about it. Cause I love embarrassing myself, and it's not even Totally Awkward Tuesday!
As I've mentioned in the past, I had a high school sweetheart, Seamus. Now that I look back on that tumultuous relationship, I realize it never would have worked out. We were both extremely hot-headed, passionate people, both angry and stubborn and arrogant, neither would ever admit to being wrong. There was no give and take, no compromising, no meeting in the middle. Neither of us had any idea how to behave normally, we had both been raised by wolves. We were so similar that we meshed perfectly into this dysfunctional love. We truly did love each other - in our own extremely warped little way. The weird part about our relationship is that while we fought each other tooth and nail about any little thing, we also accepted each other for who they were and fostered each of us becoming even more strange and dysfunctional... It was a self-perpetuating cycle, if that makes any sense.
We had both agreed in advance to the concept that, in a relationship between young people, they should know after about three years whether they were willing to spend the rest of their lives together. They would either commit to that around the five year mark, or get out. I guess I misunderstood.
I assumed that after about 3 years we would get engaged, and get married around the five year mark. Our third "anniversary of our first date" rolled around, then Thanksgiving, my 20th birthday, Christmas and New Year, with nothing. I truly thought Seamus would ask me to marry him on Valentine's Day.
That Valentine's Day, we went to a restaurant we really liked, and had a couple of strong cocktails in the lounge on an empty stomach, before being very tightly seated in a packed dining room. We each ordered our dinner, and a glass of wine for the lady and a beer for the gentleman with our entrees. I still remember what I was wearing that evening when I couldn't wait any longer to ask Seamus if he was going to propose to me!
I turned into That Girl, you know the crazy one that you don't want anything to do with - no one wants anything to do with, especially in public? Yeah, me...
Seamus didn't know what the hell I was talking about. I had just assumed based on our past conversations that he had waited for this particular occasion to surprise me with a ring! I was such a dumbass that I didn't bother talking it over with him in advance the way normal people would have done, because I didn't want to ruin his surprise. Honestly, he did like to surprise me with special things when I was least expecting it, but this took the cake.
When I realized that he was not planning on proposing to me, and had no intention of buying me a ring, I lost it - in the middle of a packed restaurant on Valentine's Day. I started crying, and asking why he didn't love me. Why wasn't I good enough for him to want to marry me? What was wrong with me? I wasn't even discreet about it, I had a couple of cocktails in my system and was loud enough that people were looking at me while they were trying to enjoy their own VD dinners. Seamus was mortified, trying to shush me until our dinners came.
Needless to say, we never got married. And I've never felt the appeal of VD pretty much since then.
19 hours ago