Thursday, February 12, 2009

Worst VD, ever

Laura at Under The Sheets-Shhh is having a VD contest. Check it out, here. She suggested we comment about our best or worst Valentine's day, but I decided to make my own post about it. Cause I love embarrassing myself, and it's not even Totally Awkward Tuesday!

As I've mentioned in the past, I had a high school sweetheart, Seamus. Now that I look back on that tumultuous relationship, I realize it never would have worked out. We were both extremely hot-headed, passionate people, both angry and stubborn and arrogant, neither would ever admit to being wrong. There was no give and take, no compromising, no meeting in the middle. Neither of us had any idea how to behave normally, we had both been raised by wolves. We were so similar that we meshed perfectly into this dysfunctional love. We truly did love each other - in our own extremely warped little way. The weird part about our relationship is that while we fought each other tooth and nail about any little thing, we also accepted each other for who they were and fostered each of us becoming even more strange and dysfunctional... It was a self-perpetuating cycle, if that makes any sense.

We had both agreed in advance to the concept that, in a relationship between young people, they should know after about three years whether they were willing to spend the rest of their lives together. They would either commit to that around the five year mark, or get out. I guess I misunderstood.

I assumed that after about 3 years we would get engaged, and get married around the five year mark. Our third "anniversary of our first date" rolled around, then Thanksgiving, my 20th birthday, Christmas and New Year, with nothing. I truly thought Seamus would ask me to marry him on Valentine's Day.

That Valentine's Day, we went to a restaurant we really liked, and had a couple of strong cocktails in the lounge on an empty stomach, before being very tightly seated in a packed dining room. We each ordered our dinner, and a glass of wine for the lady and a beer for the gentleman with our entrees. I still remember what I was wearing that evening when I couldn't wait any longer to ask Seamus if he was going to propose to me!

I turned into That Girl, you know the crazy one that you don't want anything to do with - no one wants anything to do with, especially in public? Yeah, me...

Seamus didn't know what the hell I was talking about. I had just assumed based on our past conversations that he had waited for this particular occasion to surprise me with a ring! I was such a dumbass that I didn't bother talking it over with him in advance the way normal people would have done, because I didn't want to ruin his surprise. Honestly, he did like to surprise me with special things when I was least expecting it, but this took the cake.

When I realized that he was not planning on proposing to me, and had no intention of buying me a ring, I lost it - in the middle of a packed restaurant on Valentine's Day. I started crying, and asking why he didn't love me. Why wasn't I good enough for him to want to marry me? What was wrong with me? I wasn't even discreet about it, I had a couple of cocktails in my system and was loud enough that people were looking at me while they were trying to enjoy their own VD dinners. Seamus was mortified, trying to shush me until our dinners came.

Needless to say, we never got married. And I've never felt the appeal of VD pretty much since then.


Scope said...


My most serious relationship ended with her breaking up with me the weekend before Valentine's Day, in a restaraunt that she chose, that she drove us to, 20 minutes away from my house.

Slightly uncomfortable ride home.

If you know you're going to dump someone, do it local.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Ouch is right, Scope. Love stinks, no matter how you look at it. Unless you are married. And then you are really fucked... Except for you, you know, you married person that is totally happy, you're not fucked at all... And, I love you!

Bella@That damn expat said...

Uh-oh this post made ME uncomfortable. You poor thing.

Laura said...

That's like a scene from a movie.

BeckEye said...

I've always been single on Valentine's Day. As you can guess, I haven't had many long-term relationships!

But at least I've never caught VD on VD, so it's all good.

Cora said...


My proposal story is the exact opposite. The guy I married I had only known for a few months. He asked me to marry him while DRIVING DOWN THE FREEWAY with his cousin passed out in the backseat of the car in a pool of VOMIT and me with my head hanging out the window trying not to inhale the smell. I swear to god! I wanted to die from the smell and he chose THAT moment to say to me "I've been thinking we should get married" I thought he was joking. I laughed at him, but, no, he was serious. He got mad that I thought he was joking. I was stunned he thought THAT was a decent way to propose - while driving in a vomit-filled car and with no ring or anything romantic whatsoever. WTF?! I said no. He got REALLY mad and scary and I ended up changing my answer just to calm him down, but secretly hoping no wedding date would ever roll around. But, f*ck, we were married three months later in a stupid wedding he planned and dictated all by himself in the woods on Halloween and I felt like a deer in headlights the entire time. The guy was a total control freak. Needless to say the marriage lasted just a year. And THANK GOD FOR THAT! I'm MUCH happier without him! Young people should NEVER be allowed to get married! I think the minimum age for marriage ought to be like 30, and I mean that. You need to know who you are before you can play the game of marriage, holy cow! If I were ever proposed to like that these days, I'd slap the guy. I wouldn't say "okay then" just because I didn't want him to be mad at me. God, young people are STUPID. Or at least I was. :-)

Jodi said...

Well, I just started reading your blog a few weeks ago (I'm Kate's sister), but did you REALLY want to marry someone named Seamus? I used to have a friend named Cenus, and well, every time I said his name I was afraid I was going to say "Penis".

JoJo said...

Yowza. I got engaged on VD in 1985 but we were way too young. We broke up in the fall of '86.

Whiskeymarie said...

When I owned my restaurant, I witnessed more than a few V-Day proposals.

They all ended well, except for the one time the guy made a big show of pulling out the ring and getting down on his knee...

and she said no. I kid you not.

Then she quickly walked out and he was left sitting there, humiliated.
Poor bastard.

~E said...

Ouch! I totally feel for you chica! But uhm...I gotta ask you, did you throw your drink in him face? I have always wanted to do that and it would have been cool cuz you actually had a reason to!