Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Totally awkward (and tasteless) Tuesday

Continuing a tradition started by Tova Darling, here is my weekly awkward moment.

Before I go any further, I really need to assure anyone reading this that I am not a racist person - I hate everyone. Just kidding, sort of. I'm easily the kind of person who's humor crosses the line of what might be considered good taste.

Growing up, the most favorite books of my brother and I were the "Totally Tasteless Jokes" series. Remember those? Everyone was fair game in those books. Ethnicity, religion, skin color, Helen Keller, whatever, whoever. Insults all around.

In the privacy of my own home, where I don't think anyone's feelings are going to get hurt, sometimes perhaps I jested too much. Note the emphasis on I don't think. Nothing brought it home to me further than what happened this one time when my son was about four years old. This was 10 years ago, and I have learned from this.

At the time, we were living about 45 minutes away from where I had him in daycare. If I had to run any errands after picking him up at 5:30 PM, I needed to make sure to feed him so he wouldn't have a meltdown in a store. This particular day, I decided we would eat quickly at one of those take out Chinese food places that was in the same plaza as the grocery store. Do you know the kind of place I'm talking about? They're mainly set up for take out or delivery, not a sit down restaurant. There are a couple of booths in front of a counter, in front of an open doorway to the kitchen, and if you want to sit and eat, it's self-serve only. The only decorations are usually a colorful calendar on the wall, a plant or two, and the obligatory fish tank.

I placed an order at the counter and my son and I sat at a booth. The place was dead quiet except for the sounds coming from the kitchen and the air bubbler of the fish tank. When our order came up, I paid and brought the bag to the table. As I was opening the packages, my four year old bellowed at the top of his lungs, "You rikey Chinee foo, Mommy?".

I didn't even look to see if anyone had heard him. I just put his coat on, grabbed the bag of food and the kid, and walked out.

Eating dinner in the car - $20.00

Having your four year old unintentionally tell you what an asshole you are - priceless.


Bella@That damn expat said...

Hahaha brilliant!

"I'm easily the kind of person who's humor crosses the line of what might be considered good taste."

I hear you, Fancy.

Scope said...

What kind of Chinese food do you get a 4 year old to eat? Egg rolls? Breaded chicken from the sweet and sour chicken, but call them "nuggets"?

At least you were exposing your son to different foods, and not raising a kid who thinks of grilled cheese WITH BOLOGNA is exotic.

Trying to go positive, here.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

HAHAHAHA! That was so cute Fancy, I rikey!!!

LegalMist said...


Kids pick the worst times to parrot back what we have unintentionally taught them. And they almost never parrot back what we were *trying* to teach them!!

Ay yi yi, I feel your pain!

And I'm still laughing, too... :)

Sass said...

That was fabulous. ;)

Ron Centeno said...

That was funny! Priceless innocence.

Morgan the Muse said...

Oh, ouch. I hear that when you kids say things like that, it sobers you up quickly. But still. Ouch.

Cora said...

Yep. Kids will do that to you. Every stinking time they open their mouths. Too funny! :-)

JoJo said...

I love it!!! You and I would get along sooooo well. I still find myself using what would be considered racist phrases, b/c I heard my parents say them. The one I seem to use the most, which apparently is a slam at Asian people who own drycleaners is, "No ticky, no shirty".

Besides, how much worse is it than in "A Christmas Story" when the Chinese guys try to sing, "Deck the horrs wif boughs of horry, ra ra ra ra..." lol

Paige said...

Reason number 47 for why I do not have children--unintentional exposure of my badness