Tova Darling runs a weekly embarrassment fest called Totally Awkward Tuesday. This is my weekly entry.
Do you remember grade school? Do you remember that although some kids were on the fringes, most kids were either in or they were out? I remember the school that I was in from 2nd-7th grade. Even though it was a small town, and each grade had only 30-40 kids in it, it was extremely divided in terms of who was popular and who was not. The wealthier and more good looking kids rose to the top, then the athletic kids and the outgoing kids. Down around the bottom were the kids like me.
I was never one of the wealthy kids. I was also never one of the athletic kids, although I tried. I played softball, I took dance lessons, I tried out for cheerleading. Nothing fixes clumsy, and I will always be a clumsy person, without grace, no matter how hard I try.
I never wore the right clothes, my family didn't have the money for the right Jordache jeans or the popular hairstyles. Even though I tried by being part of the choir and the drama club, I was painfully shy, and quite honestly I was one of the weird kids.
I never knew how to behave normally in front of people, and still don't. My usual response is to clam up so I don't embarrass myself any more than is necessary. Add to that, I started to gain weight in third grade, and around the same time I had to start wearing glasses.
Fast forward to fifth grade. We're halfway through the year, and having a test in math. I don't know why I remember that I was wearing brown corduroys and a red sweater, but there it is. Picture a quiet classroom, everyone intent on their test in front of them. Picture me, the clumsy girl, dropping my pencil. Of course, the pencil rolled out into the aisle, so I had to get up and go retrieve it.
Then picture me bending over, in brown corduroys, in the middle of a quiet test-taking classroom to retrieve my pencil, and involuntarily passing gas. Loudly. I never felt it coming, and I will never forget the sound of laughter afterward.
From that day on I was known as "Farty-four-eyes". I'm so glad we moved at the end of 7th grade...
16 hours ago