Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Early family history

I have three older sisters. I have to explain their nicknames, because I don't want to use their real names. When they were growing up, they had an imaginary club called the Kit-Kat club. I'm sure my oldest sister was in charge, but cannot say for sure as I was probably not even alive at the time. What I do know for a fact is they gave each other these nicknames, as I will give you in birth order: Kouf, 10/60; Shouf, 1/62, Bouf 12/62. My mother, god love her, had 3 babies in diapers at the same freakin' time.

It was four years after Bouf before another child was born.

According to the story, when my mother was pregnant with the first child, she swore if it was a boy she would call him David. Instead, Kouf was born.

When my mother was pregnant with her second child, she swore if it was a boy she would call him David. Instead, Shouf was born.

When my mother was pregnant with her third child, she swore if it was a boy she would call him David. Instead, Bouf was born.

When my mother was pregnant with her fourth child, she said (in a yiddish accent), "God, I promise if you give me a son, I will not call him David". And so Jimmy was born.

Her fifth child was me, four years after Jimmy. My mother was just lucky as hell that I was even born. She developed prenatal diabetes while carrying me, and she also slipped in dog poop and went down a flight of stairs and almost miscarried me.

Apparently, she had wanted six kids. Unfortunately for her, she had to have an emergency hysterectomy within a year or two after I was born.

Even God has his/her limits on the number of kids you are allowed to fuck up. Or at least a limit for my mother. My father eventually had another child, and fucked him up, as well.

1 comment:

chaos37 said...

Yes, I was the President of the Kit Kat Klub. It was my Klub & my little sisters were very very lucky to be allowed into my Klub. When Mom & Dad went out [every weekend] & left us with a sitter, we would pretend to go to sleep & as long as we didn't give the sitter trouble, she would pretend not to know we were indeed awake & having a Klub meeting. The meeting consisted of the 2 of them sneaking into my bedroom, were we would don our official costumes. We twisted our nightgowns in front into a tail of sorts by sticking the twisted material between our legs from front to back. We then danced around on my bed wagging our tails & singing pretending we were Josie & the Pussycats [that was a cartoon back then.] I, of course, was always Josie. Luv, Kouf